They are also used during the process of repeated failure.

Notably, these success narratives are not just invoked when we finally reach success, such as nailing a presentation or landing a dream job after a series of terrible interviews. These narratives of success provide a context within which to give failing – and some of the negative emotions associated with it – meaning and value. The acquisition of a range of capacities and skills, both practical and cognitive, is arguably dependent on this process of failure. For example, you will get better and can become successful at public speaking by, to various degrees, failing and then attempting to do better. There’s no doubt that some kinds of failure serve a purpose. When you feel like you’re not measuring up, the pieces in this special Quarter Life series will help you learn how to cope with, and even grow from, failure. Many of us are tuned into the highlight reel of social media, where our peers share their successes in relationships, careers and family. This article is part of Fail Better, a series for those of us in our 20s and 30s about navigating the moments when things aren’t quite going as planned. What’s more, existential failure may be resistant to a culturally predominant narrative surrounding failure: that failure is a necessary ingredient of success.

This kind of failure plausibly involves a form of psychological suffering. And when the failure is significant enough it could be accompanied by a loss of hope. When we fail in this way we might find ourselves feeling not just disappointed, but in some sense lacking worth or value. This kind of failure often comes with a cluster of strong negative emotions. I’m going to call these “existential failures” here. Examples of these failures might be failing in your ambition to be a successful writer or musician, failing at your university degree, or your marriage ending. However, there is a different class of failures – those that may deeply affect our understanding of ourselves (known as our self-conception). You can listen to more articles from The Conversation, narrated by Noa, here. Failing to make a meeting on time or not being able to get out of bed without hitting snooze at least once on your alarm would fall in the “less interesting” camp. Philosophically speaking, some kinds of failure are more interesting than others.

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